Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Dear god my vagina.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
