I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize