do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
