Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
