I'm going to rape someone's good day.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
