do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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