"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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