That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize