is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
