is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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