I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
