what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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