Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
