what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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