I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
being pregnant is like rehab
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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