He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
