NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
