I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize