Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You've changed since you got that strap on
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
