apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
