well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
