Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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