I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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