i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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