saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
