Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
