so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
