drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
