Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
