You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
