i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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