i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize