We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize