Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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