It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
