Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize