Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
