Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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