Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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