Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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