tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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