Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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