he wants to bone in the snuggie
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
