You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
