Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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