she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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