i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
