"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
