Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
