One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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