i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
