I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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