I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
