Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
