i barfeds in our rink
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
