I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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