the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
