Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize