My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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