you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
