the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
how does that bad decision feel?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
