it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
