We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
