I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
