i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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