You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
