how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize