I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
